Childhood, part II

I have to say that during class I thought about this a lot. Of course,
I am always disgusted by any person who would violate someone in such a
manner, especially someone inherently vulnerable. Every time that I hear
about a rape in the press or by word of mouth it upsets me. However, I
have become somewhat desensitized to it after awhile. Yes I think it is
evil and wrong and I feel deeply sorry for the woman that has been hurt,
but I come from a family with a multi-generational law enforcement
background, have studied the field in school (I am a criminology major)
and worked for the prosecutor's office in the summers. It is something
that happens and I do what I can to deal with it. I know the steps that
I need to take to make sure that the man is convicted in court, that he
is sentenced and kept from hurting anyone again, and that the victim
gets the help she needs. I am able to feel like I am DOING something and
that makes it better.
But knowing that the perpetrator hurt a child seems more than
upsetting: it is gutwrenching. And it feels that way every time.
Nothing, no amount of productivity, dulls that feeling for me. I have
had many a case come across my desk as an intern that involved children,
and not once was the feeling of almost physical nausea absent. It just
felt more evil, wrong, horrible to see the same thing happen to someone
so young. And everyone in the office and at home agreed with me
unquestioningly.
So, I never questioned it. Not until I read that first chapter of Mercy
and even more so when we discussed the subject in class. Why is it that
we as a society feel that there are degrees of evil? Is there a sliding
scale that increases in correlation with the age of the victim? Can
there be such a thing?
I don't know that I feel the way that I do because I, or society as my
proxy, have failed in protecting a child in some way. Of course, as a
young woman, I do have some strange maternal instinct that I don't
understand. But I feel like it is so much more than that. Yes, children
are to be protected and sheltered from things like this. But so is
everyone. I guess that I am saying that I appreciate you continuing the
conversation about this, Alex, and I think that you are on the right
track with your ideas and attempt at an explanation. It makes sense to
me, but just doesn't feel right. It didn't click. I guess I will
have to find my own answer as to why it affects me so differently to
hear of a child being victimized than it does a woman. I'll let you
know if it happens any time soon.