I don't have a copy of Mercy on me to look up specifically where this discussion occurred, but I want to point out that somewhere around the 250-60 page mark, Andrea goes on a rant about how little baby girls and children get molested by their daddies. And that from the moment they get born, every time a man stick someething into one of their orifices, something gets taken from them. Something that can't be retrieved. And each time this happens ( I read this as any sort of sexual activity, consensual or not), another piece is lost. Never to be found again. Until all these women, despite their smiling exteriors, are dead things. Pretty apples on the outside, rotting maggots on the inside. Dead.
Although the imagery struck me while I was reading it, it wasn't until I was watching TLC right now and a commercial for 19 Kids and Counting came on, that I remembered something. (Boy, am I glad that this blog is anonymous because I am admitting my love for terrible TV shows). The Duggar clan don't believe in any kind of sexual contact before marriage. Including kissing. That's right. Even kissing. And they're not alone, TLC's show The Virgin Diaries, documented couples who saved themselves until marriage. One of the most noteworthy couples was one that weighted to kiss until they said their vows (which resulted in probably the most awkward face-eating I have ever seen).
But what is interesting is that their reason for waiting to kiss, or have sex, or whatever, echoes Andrea Dworkin's reason- they all feel that every time you kiss someone, you lose a piece of yourself to that person. I thought this intriguing that some of the most religious, conservative people (who I, frankly, believe live in some of the most gender-unequal cultures) in the United States would agree on something like this with Andrea Dworkin OF ALL PEOPLE.
I actually still can't wrap my mind around it. Maybe, it's just some crazy coinicidence. Or maybe it isn't? How can people on the opposite extremes of the spectrum agree on this?
Hmmm...that's a really interesting point. However, I think Dworkin would argue that one should never kiss or sexually interact with men. She would probably prefer women to only make intimate contact with other women; something I do not think the religiously conservative group would not condone. Also, aren't you not supposed to kiss or have sex before marriage so that you can save yourself for "the one?" Actually, this reminds me of an episode from The Big Bang Theory. Sheldon doesn't want to open his mint condition transporter from its box because then it will lose its value. Penny says her mother said the same thing about her virginity, but she had much more fun taking it out and playing with it. Anyway..., I thought the religious perspective was to stay pure till marriage so that you have something special to offer your husband; you aren't soiled. But then again, doesn't the man also abstain from sex? So, in that aspect they are equal.I think though Dworkin and the religiously conservative may share a piece, but they have different motivations. In the bible, the woman is made from the man's rib, and I think you are supposed to be respectful and abide by your husband, which I don't think Andrea would agree with. Actually, that's interesting, none of those reality tv show couples are gay, are they?
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